Hello again! It’s your favorite resident Kiwi taking over Hoddle duties from Fitzie for a couple of days.
I say favorite (I’m clearly attention starved here, more on that tomorrow)... I’m assuming you don’t know many New Zealanders. That might not be the case!
There are only 5 million of us, and it certainly felt like we were a rare breed when my wife and I visited USA back in 2016 for a holiday. I know it seems like Americans having bad geography knowledge is a cliche, but the number of blank stares we got when we mentioned we were from New Zealand was kind of hilarious.
The thing we really weren’t expecting though was how hard we are to understand to the average American. The New Zealand accent can at times sound like we have taken inspiration from Marlon Brando stuffing cotton wool in his mouth, and we tend to speak in quite a monotone manner. It’s a wonder Flight of the Conchords took off the way it did.
Speaking of... when people looked at us quizzically when we mentioned we were from New Zealand, we used two reference points to try clear up the confusion: Lord of the Rings, and Flight of the Conchords. Honestly, some of our interactions felt like something straight out of the latter. Some of our favorites:
“The beds are really comfy here!” “The bids?” “The beds.” “Bids?” “Beds.” visible confusion, before I put on an American accent: “The beds!” “Oh, the beds!”
“Oh, you’re from New Zealand? Do you know ‘insert random Kiwi acquaintance’s name here’?”
Ordering coffee at Starbucks (I know, my first mistake) and giving my name (Matthew, I normally give that rather than Matty as the latter can cause confusion at times). I then received a cup back labelled “Bethu”.
At a gas station in pretty much the middle of nowhere (from memory when we were driving from New Orleans to Little Rock): “Where are y’all from?” “New Zealand.” “Where’s that? Never heard of it.” “Near Australia, down in the Pacific.” “Is that in Europe?” “Uh, no - you might have heard of it from the Lord of the Rings movies? It’s where they were filmed.” “Oh, right! Near Italy?” (I gave up at that point)
We still reminisce about these moments, and though we like to poke fun, we had an amazing time. People were very friendly and welcoming, and we’d love to come back someday.
Non-Kiwi readers, do you know any New Zealanders? Or any Kiwi readers, what are some of your favorite moments when travelling overseas?
Matty Flatt’s track of the day: My Delirium, by Ladyhawke
And now for your links:
Brennan Johnson talks his bright start to the season, via Football London
If you want to relive the weekend’s match, extended highlights are up on Youtube