Tottenham give up leads and are particularly terrible in one specific 15-minute period, while Ruben Amorim’s made Man Utd a whole lot worse and fast starts are the way to go vs Liverpool.
We’ve been terrible at plugging the soon-to-be famous F365 Tables, which we’ve had a lovely time poring over to bring you 16 Conclusions. It’s right there on the homepage, there’s 21 of them in total, and they’ve got nifty filtering options and all sorts of other user-friendly features.
Arne Slot’s side have won all 15 games in which they’ve taken the lead, scoring 41 goals and conceding just eight: an absurd record. They’ve also lost just one game when they’ve conceded first, winning two, but teams have shared the points with Liverpool on five occasions when they’ve scored the opening goal. Fast starts are the way to go.
One of the tables where you can easily lose an hour is the Table By Custom Match Period, which allows us to appreciate Bournemouth’s unrivalled fitness levels, which has seen Andoni Iraola’s side score an incredible nine goals after the 90-minute mark.
We spent almost as much time selecting Tottenham match periods as we did writing this, revelling in discovering that their woes this season are almost entirely down to one specific 15-minute period in games.
Obviously across the full 90+ minutes they’re 14th, but in almost every other possible selection they’re in the top half: Third after 15 minutes; fourth after 30; seventh in the second half; eighth in first-half stoppage time; second in second-half stoppage time.
It’s on the 30-minute mark that they lose it, briefly, but dramatically to completely f*** their season. They would be 17th if games were decided on the basis of that witching quarter-hour, in which they’ve conceded 10 goals.
We miraculously stumbled on some Manchester United positivity here as only Liverpool (4) have lost fewer points from winning positions than the Red Devils (6) this season. Arne Slot’s side have been ahead in 19 games to their rivals’ 11, but still, no defeats in 11 when taking the lead is something to cling to for Ruben Amorim.
Ange Postecoglou isn’t granted the same hope though, with Spurs dropping more points (21) than any other Premier League team from winning positions. They’ve taken the lead in 16 games, winning eight, drawing three and losing five, and would currently be third on 47 points had they held onto the lead in all of them. Ouch.
It won’t come as a huge surprise that Manchester United’s Big Chance position is better than their actual spot in the table given the wastes of space Ruben Amorim has as options to lead the line, but they’re by no means a creative force to be reckoned with; their 47 Big Chances is the 11th best in the division.
Forest’s 44 sees them in 13th, which is remarkable given their charge for Champions League qualification, particularly as they’ve scored 41 goals from those 44 presentable opportunities.
The Table Between Two Dates may be our favourite of all, mainly as it allows us to bask in the glory or misery of managers taking over mid-season. Only Liverpool and Arsenal (both 10) have won more points than Everton’s nine since David Moyes returned.
That’s more points in four games than they won in the previous10 under Sean Dyche, with the eight goals scored so far under Moyes as many as they managed in the previous 13.
We all predicted a tough time for Amorim, but we don’t think anyone, including Sir Jim Ratcliffe, the players and the man himself, thought they would get worse.
Erik ten Hag was shown the door on October 28 with them in 14th after defeat to West Ham, their fourth loss in nine games, and they’re now 13th, but wouldn’t be in that superior position had it not been for the four points won under the caretaker watch of Ruud van Nistelrooy, with Amorim’s 13 games yielding just 14 points, the 15th-worst record in the Premier League in that time.
While we’re on the plight of Manchester United (when are we not?), the impact of Marcus Rashford, or rather the lack of Marcus Rashford is a good laugh.
Thanks to Rashford’s three goals in Amorim’s opening two Premier League games, United broke into the top half for the first time since the opening day, at which point he was dropped to the bench for the Arsenal clash (before being dropped altogether and then banished), ushering in the real sh*t for Amorim, as they’ve lost seven of their 11 games since, scoring just nine goals, with just four teams experiencing a worse record in that time.
Chelsea were second and just four points off Liverpool on Christmas Day, with their fine early-season form requiring Enzo Maresca to – wisely, as it turns out – bat away talk of a title challenge. Since then they’ve won just eight points in seven games, just one more than Manchester United.
Only Liverpool (22) have won more points against teams in the top half of the table than Fulham (18), who have also played the fewest number of games (10) against those sides and have picked up the same number of points in 14 games against bottom-half sides. Bumpy track bullies.
No Premier League team has had less possession on average than Nottingham Forest (40%), with Southampton (52%) further proving how overrated having the ball is.
Many Gooners claimed David Raya was the best goalkeeper in the Premier League last season because he kept the most clean sheets, in the process downplaying the extraordinary feats of the indomitable centre-backs standing in front of him. By that same logic, Jordan Pickford is now the superior stopper having kept nine clean sheets this term to Raya’s eight.
Mikel Arteta’s side have become less reliant on Nicolas Jover and his set-pieces since we last did 16 Conclusions on these tables, but if Tottenham fans aren’t bringing up open play goals as The Real Quiz given their side has scored 37 to Arsenal’s 35 then we have no faith in their capacity for pettiness.
Nuno Espirito Santo’s side are the story of the season, with their success thanks in large part due to their league-high 10 clean sheets, which means they often need just one goal to win a game (though seven is nice) and they’ve taken the lead in an incredible 19 games this season. Arsenal are next best on 16.
Gone are the days when opposition teams rocked up to Old Trafford in the hope of escaping with their dignity intact rather than with a victory or even a draw in mind. It’s now a very happy hunting ground, particularly in the Ruben Amorim era.
They’ve lost seven and won just five at home this season, and five of those defeats have come in Amorim’s seven games at his Theatre of Nightmares, with his only victories coming over Southampton – that one entirely down to a late Amad Diallo show – and Everton.
They’ve conceded first in nine of their 13 games at home, which is more than any other team but Leicester (10).