The Guardian

There are statements to be made in the transfer window or, if not, immediately after it. If much of the preface to this game concerned itself with Eddie Howe’s feelings on Newcastle’s summer of trading – or lack thereof – then Tottenham had their own questions to answer on this pilgrimage north. After this harsh defeat, doubts may linger in the mind for the length of an uncomfortable international break at least.

On surface level a relatively tidy Tottenham transfer window, bringing in players such as Dominic Solanke and Wilson Odobert – the latter the author of a bright cameo against Everton last week – had almost been forgotten. Giovani Lo Celso’s departure back to Real Betis on deadline day, curiously, cast a shadow over that work by harking back to the big window of summer 2019, with none of Tanguy Ndombele, Ryan Sessegnon or Lo Celso working out (or recouping costs) after being recruited at considerable expense. Unfairly so, perhaps, but optics are everything especially with Jack Clarke – another of that summer’s eight-figure recruits – sold on by Sunderland to Ipswich in the later days of August for a healthy profit.

With the sense that, like their Sunday hosts, Spurs might find themselves trapped in a just-below-elite level netherworld in this season’s Premier League – too swelled with expectation to be satisfied with a Europa League spot, not quite proactive enough in the marketplace to push themselves back into the orbit of the Champions League – there was a response to be crafted. It was not a gung-ho riposte. If Ange Postecoglou is sometimes accused of tactical idealism, Tottenham always seemed keener to be resolute than ritzy.

With reason, perhaps. It is not easily forgotten that Spurs had lost by a margin of at least four goals on three of their past eight visits to St James’ Park, and by an aggregate of 10-1 in the past two seasons, the sort of results which prompt near existential crisis and make the away strips worn on the days in question consigned to the dustbin of club infamy. Bringing Pape Sarr into midfield as an extra layer of protection, with Dejan Kulusevski pushed further forward, was perhaps a nod to those recent horrible histories.

Postecoglou might have lamented not having more muscle on hand with no Solanke, no Richarlison and no Micky van de Ven at the back. As Radu Dragusin cut through Harvey Barnes to concede a corner in the first five minutes he rose to dust off his hands, it almost seemed to signal an acknowledgement that Spurs were ready for an afternoon of battening down the hatches though if either of Joelinton’s or Harvey Barnes’s early efforts had gone in, they might have been looking at being buried under another Geordie avalanche.

Yet it has not been unrelenting misery for visitors here from N17 in recent times. Spurs were also the first guests after the Saudi Arabia’s Public Investment Fund took over in October 2021, emerging with a comfier-than-the-score-suggests 3-2 win after conceding early to Callum Wilson, with Newcastle surfing on a tidal wave of local emotion. This time, with sporadic local concern of what the future may hold for the first time under the PIF, one wondered if the visitors could again capitalise with cold clarity.

While Spurs quelled the early storm well – “no noise from the Saudi boys” was the chant tumbling down from the visiting supporters on level 7 – this was not an adventurous first-half display and it ultimately did them little good when Barnes’s deliciously adroit finish put Newcastle in front against the run of play. The peak of that gradual visiting domination had been a pair of Sarr shots from distance blocked by Nick Pope, a lack of incision with which Howe must have been comfortable.

There is no point pretending to be what you’re not, and the more quintessential Postecoglou plan emerged with Spurs trailing, and Brennan Johnson replacing Sarr at half-time to reprise that lineup which ruthlessly rolled over Everton last weekend, save Dragusin standing in for Van de Ven.

The impact was immediate, Odobert poking over the top from ultra-close range after being found by Johnson’s deflected cross. At the heart of a Spurs flurry the equaliser was prompted by more foraging by the Wales forward, Dan Burn launching his cross-shot into the roof of his own net after Pope spilled a James Maddison effort.

Groundhog Day was on the way, though, and Joelinton cut out the Spurs defence far too easily with a simple pass to send substitute Jacob Murphy away to lay on a surprising winner for Alexander Isak.

Postecoglou might reflect on 45 minutes wasted given how hard his team were to handle for the second half. Then again, he might simply be pleased that Newcastle away is done and dusted for another season.

Newcastle’s chief executive has likened the task of reconstructing Newcastle to building a plane in mid-air and, after this, Eddie Howe will know precisely what Darren Eales meant.

There were moments when Tottenham proved so dominant here that Howe’s team did not merely seem to be running on one engine but with a wing close to falling off and the landing gear jammed.

Precisely how Newcastle ended up taxi-ing safely towards the final whistle with three points neatly stowed away is something that appears set to puzzle Ange Postecoglou and his Tottenham staff for some considerable time to come.

As recently as Friday, Howe was warning about the need for his club to avoid “tearing ourselves apart” in the aftermath of an underwhelming transfer window. Perhaps heeding that message, Newcastle’s players began as if on a mission to rip Spurs to shreds. They could not sustain it but, just as Tottenham turned imperious, Howe’s team remembered how to counterattack and, against almost all available odds, found a way to win.

In some respects it all started as it finished. Indeed as, shortly after kick-off, Alexander Isak’s ambitious chip grazed the woodwork and Harvey Barnes sent a shot whistling inches wide, a Tottenham side lacking their injured defender Micky van de Ven looked a little overwhelmed.

Admittedly Pedro Porro’s header soon hit the back of Nick Pope’s net but Ange Postecoglou’s right-back was miles offside and that effort duly disallowed. Although Pape Sarr subsequently raised the visiting tone a little courtesy of a slightly deflected, fiendishly curving, 25-yard shot Pope did well to push around a post, there was plenty on view to reassure the watching Newcastle chairman, Yasir Al-Rumayyan, who had just flown in from Riyadh.

If the post match conversation between Al-Rumayyan, Howe and the club’s sporting director, Paul Mitchell, is unlikely to be have been dull, at least the tension surrounding Newcastle’s forlorn, month-long pursuit of Crystal Palace’s England centre-half Marc Guéhi, is likely to been partly assuaged by the initial strength of the home performance.

Barnes represented a key reason for Tottenham’s travails and never more so than when he connected with Lloyd Kelly’s left-wing cross and volleyed his side into a 37th-minute lead. Given the awkwardly swerving bounce of the ball as it reared up from a slick surface greased by sporadic rain showers, Barnes’s finish was exquisite.

Yet as Gallowgate Enders marvelled at such a sublime execution, Postecoglou’s glare suggested he might shortly be reminding his defence not only that Barnes was unmarked when he scored and James Maddison had lost concentration at the throw-in preceding the goal-creating cross but Kelly seemed to be finding it far too easy to contain the ineffective Wilson Odobert.

Tottenham’s resultant right-sided attacking struggle dictated that, despite, Postecoglou’s team recovering from their wobbly opening to create a series of half-chances and Joelinton needing to temper his midfield aggression after collecting a booking, Pope was rarely stretched to the absolute limit.

As much as Spurs began controlling the tempo and enjoying increased possession, their most menacing first-half shots came from outside the area. In an attempt to change that narrative, Postecoglou replaced Sarr with Brennan Johnson at the interval. With the impressive Johnson now wide on the right and Odobert looking infinitely happier on the left, the match’s entire topography had changed.

As the revamped visitors chased an equaliser only a last ditch sliding tackle from Radu Dragusin, deputising for Van de Ven, denied Alexander Isak a goal.

With Isak and Anthony Gordon ever more subdued and Maddison’s smart manoeuvring reminding everyone why Newcastle were so desperate to sign him last summer, Spurs rallied. Indeed their attacking onslaught left Dan Burn powerless to turn the ball into his own net after Pope had parried a Maddison shot into Johnson’s path and Burn’s attempted goal-line clearance became an own goal.

Considering that, just before that leveller, Heung-min Son had seen a menacing shot deflected and Porro had hit the crossbar, Newcastle’s swashbuckling start felt like a fast receding memory.

As his teammates struggled to exit their own half, Kieran Trippier, evidently hoping to come on as a substitute, interrupted his warmup routine to issue a volley of instructions from the touchline. Howe may have handed Trippier’s old captain’s armband to Bruno Guimarães but old habits clearly die hard.

Evidently unmoved, Howe left Trippier on the bench as he refreshed his team, with Sandro Tonali’s replacement of Sean Longstaff the most notable switch. It marked the Italy midfielder’s Premier League return following a 10-month suspension for breaches of betting regulations.

Yet as Spurs forced a blizzard of corners and Pope stretched every sinew to divert Maddison’s free-kick, Tonali had precious little chance to impose any sort of order on an increasingly bedraggled home midfield.

No matter; Jacob Murphy, on as a substitute, learned all about the art of counterattacking from the manager who brought him to Tyneside, Rafael Benítez. Accordingly he made the very most of Joelinton’s defence-bisecting pass, racing clear before squaring for Isak to complete a routine tap-in.

As Guglielmo Vicario, the visiting goalkeeper, struggled to comprehend what had just happened, Postecoglou shook his head in disbelief.

I’m not going to sit here and say it’s been a brilliant window. We haven’t had the window we wanted, there’s no denying that. I think when PIF [Saudi Arabia’s Public Investment Fund, Newcastle’s majority owners] took over, the landscape was different. A lot has changed in terms of PSR and our need to comply with the rules to prevent a points deduction.

That impacts the ability to progress the club as quickly as maybe they wanted to. I don’t think the dream dies necessarily, it just takes longer. We have got to build our revenue streams, bring more money into the club. This is the biggest thing we need to focus on in the next 10 years. Whether I’m [going to be] lucky enough to see any of that, who knows. The dream is not over, it is just going to take a lot, lot, longer.

Tottenham have signed Hayley Raso on a two-year deal subject to international clearance and a work permit.

The Matildas forward joins Tottenham as a free agent having spent last season with the Liga F side Real Madrid, where she played 28 times and became the first-ever Australian to represent the Spanish side.

The 29-year-old has featured 82 times for Australia, scoring 19 goals and helped her country reach the Women’s World Cup semi-finals with three goals before they were knocked out by England.

Raso returns to the Women’s Super League after previous spells with Everton in 2020 and Manchester City in 2021, helping them lift the League Cup.

Raso will wear the No 8 shirt for Spurs who will be hoping to improve their sixth-placed finish last season.

The Australian could make her WSL debut when Tottenham play league newcomers Crystal Palace in their first game of the season on 22 September.

It is one of those things that never fails to warm the heart: the moment a young fan lays eyes on a player from their club. The reaction is almost always the same. A widening of the eyes, stunned incomprehension. Then delayed realisation and, after that, just giddy excitement.

When Guglielmo Vicario turns up at a training session run by Tottenham’s global football department at Richard Hale school in Hertford on Friday, the levels among the eight- to 13-year-olds immediately go up. “It’s Vicario,” they shout. Some of them wave. Others decide whether they want him to sign their boots or their gloves.

The Q&A at the end is fun because, as usual, the questions are great. Most dangerous opponent in the Premier League? (Mohamed Salah.) How about outside England? (Nico Williams.) Best player at Spurs? (Son Heung-min). Closest friend at the club? (Destiny Udogie).

Vicario is obviously cool with them because, at the risk of laying on the schmaltz, he oozes charisma. And yet not every kid in a Spurs shirt has enjoyed the same experience of late with the towering goalkeeper.

It was the 91st minute of the club’s opening game of the season when Lucas Bergvall, the 18-year-old debutant, lost the ball to Leicester’s Stephy Mavididi. He crossed for Wilfred Ndidi, who almost made it 2-1 with a header.

Vicario got up after making the save and rushed towards Bergvall, incandescent, channelling his inner hairdryer. Some saluted the passion of the man known as Venom, whereas others criticised him for laying into a youngster. For the record, Bergvall is not the kind of character to allow that – or anything – to affect him.

“I was too aggressive with him and I apologised,” Vicario says. “Maybe it was because we had dominated, then conceded [in the 57th minute] and I had a feeling in the last five minutes – by anything – that we could lose.

“So it’s just to understand where the game is leading us. But it was not the right way in terms of screaming at him.

“He will understand, he’s a good guy. And it’s part of football. I suffered this, too, when I was a teenager. We are men. We move forward. Maybe my acting at that moment was not the best but the message was for the right reasons and came from the right place.”

Vicario has form in this area. Remember his monstering of Ryan Sessegnon after January’s FA Cup win over Burnley? But the wider point concerns a shift in the dynamics at Spurs and the greater status Vicario now enjoys.

The squad has a younger feel after the transfer window, Bergvall having been joined by another couple of teenagers in Archie Gray and Wilson Odobert. It is as if the chairman, Daniel Levy, has gone back to the approach that once worked so well for him – the acquisition of young players with huge potential, who are likely to improve and increase in value.

Vicario is 27 and at the start of his second Spurs season but there are only a handful of players at the club older than him – Fraser Forster, Ben Davies, Yves Bissouma, Timo Werner and Son. Vicario discloses he has been given an unofficial leadership role by the manager, Ange Postecoglou, charged with supporting the captain, Son, and the vice-captains, Cristian Romero and James Maddison.

“I think it comes with age,” he says. “It’s not an official position. We speak between ourselves in the dressing room and I like to take this responsibility, especially with the young lads.

“Our commitment, discipline and focus has to be always at the top. And it’s to try to make sure our performances are always at the top. Sometimes you have good days, sometimes you don’t. But the right mindset during the week and during the game will help some of the young lads to develop. I’m very pleased by this new role.”

Vicario was excellent last season, posting eye-catching numbers, including with the ball at his feet. According to Opta, he had the most successful passes in the Premier League by a goalkeeper and was second in the keeper sweepings metric. There were numerous huge saves, some of them spectacular.

If there was a criticism, it was that he could be distracted by the dark arts from opponents on set pieces. It looked as though he was targeted over the second half of the season, with Ben White’s attempts to mess with his gloves on a corner during the derby against Arsenal attracting plenty of analysis, mainly because Spurs conceded.

“I didn’t realise it at the time … I only saw later that he tried to grab my gloves,” Vicario says. “We conceded but not for that reason. And it’s not about targeting. Everyone is targeted by every team. You just have to deal with it.”

Nor does Vicario want to dwell for too long on the 61 league goals Spurs conceded; a number that surely has to be reduced if they are to qualify for the Champions League this season.

“Aston Villa conceded 61 goals and they reached the Champions League by two points,” Vicario says. “Manchester United, Newcastle, Chelsea … everyone conceded about 60. Only Arsenal, Manchester City and Liverpool conceded around 30, 35, 40.

“It’s the way we play football in England, it exposes teams to concede more chances and goals. Here, it’s to score one more than the opponent rather than not to concede one less, which is the best way for the people who come to see the games. It’s more entertaining.

“I also like to play a good game … with the ball, to play in some situations where there is a lot of pressure from the opponents and with my work, we can overcome it, break some lines and score.”

Vicario will be out to settle a score at Newcastle on Sunday, where Spurs were beaten 4-0 last season, albeit an improvement on the 6-1 hammering they suffered there in 2022-23. It is when the Italian outlines his targets for the season that the emotion bubbles.

“It is to be a team until 25 May, to build a big team until 25 May,” he says. “But everyone wants to win and if we have the opportunity we will try until the end. We know if we do it at Tottenham, we will be remembered by our fans for life, for eternity.

“It would be one of the biggest things that could happen in your career, in your life. Also, maybe one day you could come back to the stadium and walk into the tunnel, into the corridor and see some pictures and say: ‘OK, maybe 40 years ago I did this.’

“If it’s me there on the pictures, it would be very nice. So we will try to do this.”

Aaron Lennon in his pomp was a joy to watch. Although the winger was never the most impressive crosser, he would glide past a marker effortlessly, carving open defences with ease. The final delivery was sometimes found wanting but he knew how to set a backline on edge and get bums off seats in the crowd. Since his departure from Tottenham in 2015, it’s feasible to suggest the club haven’t had a ball-carrier of his ilk.Until now, that is.

Wilson Odobert moved to Spurs in mid-August in a deal that blindsided even the most hardened of ITKs. The club were in the market for a direct winger to operate on the right or left but few, if any, predicted the Frenchman would swap Turf Moor for Tottenham.

And yet Spurs paid Burnley £25m for the teenager, who had quickly won a legion of admirers among the Clarets fanbase and moved with their blessing after a solitary season.

Odobert completed more dribbles (53) than any other teenager in the Premier League last season. He was the skilful winger that Ange Postecoglou craved and one that supporters are hoping will emulate, and better, Lennon in north London. Not many expected Odobert, though, to make his debut in Spurs’ 4-0 win over Everton last Saturday.

After Spurs’ disappointing opening 1-1 draw at Leicester, in a game they dominated, there was an air of trepidation as Postecoglou’s side welcomed Everton. Supporters needn’t have worried, however. The visitors did find a way to pressure the Spurs backline – they had 10 shots to their hosts’ 13 – yet the home side ultimately eased to victory.

The post-match discussion was dominated by arguments over whether Cristian Romero is the best centre-back in north London and by Micky van de Ven’s charging run for Son Heung-min’s second goal, and Spurs’ fourth, but when the teams were announced the inclusion of Odobert raised eyebrows. He had been at the club for just eight days, after all.

However, much of the reason behind Spurs’ dominance – they finished with a 70.5% possession share – was Postecoglou’s decision to start Odobert. From the outset Spurs had a player in the final third willing to push high and wide. This set Everton on the back foot. They were hesitant to leave space in behind and so would often drop closer to their goal, meaning Odobert had space to run into.

It’s no coincidence that Odobert had significantly more touches (58) than Brennan Johnson on the opposite flank (31), despite coming off midway through the second half to a standing ovation. Spurs would often look to get Odobert one-on-one with the Premier League debutant Roman Dixon and he attempted more dribbles (six) than any other player. Only 10 times has a Spurs player attempted more dribbles than Odobert in a Premier League match since the start of last season.

Granted, Odobert wasn’t always successful with his attempts to beat a marker – he was successful with only two dribbles – but his determination to run at a full-back in an attempt to make things happen in the final third is a welcome asset to Postecoglou. The absence of this was arguably one of the main reasons Spurs failed to secure a top-four finish last season. They scored the fewest goals (74) in the top seven as opponents were able to shut them down.

Now there is the added unpredictability of Odobert. Whether he starts when his fellow summer arrival Dominic Solanke is available remains to be seen, particularly with Son expected to feature from the left when the big-money. summer arrival from Bournemouth returns to fitness. The additional tactical flexibility afforded to Postecoglou, though, is a huge bonus as Spurs gear up for their return to European football.

Traditionally, it is in the second season where Postecoglou sides begin to take shape and blitz opponents. Although Spurs aren’t at the level of Manchester City, Arsenal or Liverpool, they now boast a winger who can turn a game against sides who sit deep.

Premier League team of the week

A generous assessment of Everton’s efforts on an afternoon when Jordan Pickford accidentally turned into one of Tottenham’s most inventive players is that there was a brief period when they vaguely resembled a functioning team.

The only problem with trying to stay positive, though, was that they were already heading for another thrashing by the time they started to string a few passes together. The direction of travel was obvious after a first goal in Spurs colours for Yves Bissouma, who was on his best behaviour after being removed from the naughty step by Ange Postecoglou. Any sense of Everton fighting to repair an awful start had to be tempered by them not even picking up a booking despite being clobbered 4-0.

Where was the anger? The soul? Where was the resistance when Cristian Romero powered in a header in the second half? It was an abject surrender, typified by Pickford losing the ball before Son Heung-min’s first goal midway through the first half, and it is hard not to conclude Everton are destined for another grim battle for survival.

Reinforcements are required before the transfer window shuts even though money is tight, while more adventure in possession would not go amiss. Spurs, who often struggled in this kind of game last season, moved to an entirely different beat to their opponents. It must have felt like Everton’s longsuffering fans were watching a different sport when Micky van de Ven, embodying the fearlessness instilled in Postecoglou’s players, surged out of central defence, ran the length of the pitch and sent Son through to round off the scoring in the 77th minute.

“We can’t continue to make mistakes at this level,” Sean Dyche, the Everton manager, said. “Every time we build something, we let it go again. It is difficult here and we are stretched. But it’s a strange situation. In my 19 months we build something and go back down the hill again to remind ourselves of the challenge. What about playing when it’s 0-0?”

Bereft of ambition and ideas, Everton were pinned back from the start. A midfield with Bissouma sitting behind two No 8s, James Maddison and Dejan Kulusevski, had underlined Postecoglou’s desire to play on the front foot and the tone was set by the manner in which Son, playing centrally in the absence of the injured striker Dominic Solanke, pressed Pickford.

Wilson Odobert, who started for the first time since joining from Burnley, bristled with positive intent against Roman Dixon, a 19-year-old debutant at right-back. Son and Maddison would also have efforts saved, while Brennan Johnson missed a free header.

It was no surprise when the opener arrived after Kulusevski found Bissouma, who used the inside of his right foot to crash a shot in from 20 yards. Postecoglou reflected on the midfielder responding well to being dropped for last Monday’s 1-1 draw with Leicester after footage on social media appeared to show him inhaling nitrous oxide. “Biss is a good footballer,” the Spurs manager said. “It’s about him being the best version of himself.”

There was a relentlessness to Spurs and it was encapsulated by their second goal. Son, whose movement tormented James Tarkowski and Michael Keane, had been told to disrupt Pickford’s distribution. Following orders, he was ready for another sharp burst when Tarkowski sent an innocuous pass to England’s No 1. Pickford could do little more than apologise after a heavy touch invited a tackle from Son, who sped off and tapped the ball into an empty net.

Everton had descended into a shambles, although they will hope to improve when their injuries ease in defence. Jarrad Branthwaite was badly missed and there was an improved spell before half-time. Jack Harrison had volleyed wide at 1-0 and Spurs dealt uneasily with a succession of set pieces.

Spurs grew complacent and they could have conceded after a stray pass from Odobert in the 58th minute. Guglielmo Vicario saved well from the substitute Jesper Lindstrøm.

Postecoglou reacted by stiffening his midfield with the introduction of Pape Matar Sarr. Romero, making his 100th appearance for Spurs, soon rose to head in Maddison’s corner.

Better was to come from Romero’s partner in central defence. When Van de Ven smothered another tame attack, strode forward and sent Son through, the South Korean completed Everton’s misery by drilling a low finish past Pickford.

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GOAL! Tottenham Hotspur 2-0 Everton (Son 25)

Heung-min Son nicks the ball off Jordan Pickford’s toe, and it already looks like being a long afternoon for Everton. It already looks like being a long season.

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It’s hotting up at the Women’s Open at St Andrews, by the way. An early bogey for 36-hole leader Nelly Korda, an early birdie for last year’s runner-up Charley Hull, and suddenly the lead at the top is only one. The reigning champion Lilia Vu is hovering, too! Nothing to do with the Premier League football, admittedly, but I’ll be covering the final round live tomorrow afternoon, and I wanted to advertise that while I’ve got your attention. See you tomorrow, then! It’s a date!

-7: Korda (4)

-6: Hull (4)

-5: Shin (8), Vu (4)

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Tottenham Hotspur 1-0 Everton. More from Mary Waltz, who is following events in north London from California. “I am settling in for a long tortuous Everton Match. Spurs have Jordan Pickford under siege. We were already parking the bus before the goal. I know Sean Dyche has few options, we have to play this way, but it is still so depressing. Sigh.”

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GOAL! Rangers 1-0 Ross County (Dessers 18). The Staggies had an early chance, but it’s the hosts who take the lead at Hampden.

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GOAL! Fulham 1-0 Leicester (Smith Rowe 18)

Emile Smith Rowe impressed at Old Trafford last week on debut; now he’s opened his account for his new club on his first outing at Craven Cottage. Speaking of fast starts, those three Manchester City goals came in a three-minute-and-11-second burst.

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GOAL! Manchester City 3-1 Ipswich Town (Haaland 16)

It couldn’t last all right. Erling Haaland already on a hat-trick. Ipswich shouldn’t have made them angry.

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GOAL! Manchester City 2-1 Ipswich Town (De Bruyne 14)

Nope, it couldn’t last. Arijanet Muric faffs around with the ball at his feet. Savinho strips him of possession and sets up another goal.

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GOAL! Tottenham Hotspur 1-0 Everton (Bissouma 14)

It had been all Spurs in N17 from the get-go. Jordan Pickford had already made a couple of big saves. He can’t rescue the Toffees a third time. Yves Bissouma gives the hosts a deserved early lead.

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GOAL! Manchester City 1-1 Ipswich Town (Haaland 12 pen)

It couldn’t last. Savinho nips past Leif Davis, who was given the runaround by Mohamed Salah last weekend, and now nicks his opponent on the heel. Penalty, and Erling Haaland slots it without fuss.

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Manchester City 0-1 Ipswich Town. Some full debut for the former Blackburn striker Sammie Szmodics, who rolls the ball home slowly, dramatically. He scored 33 goals last season for Rovers in the Championship, and doesn’t look like stopping in the Premier League.

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Updated at 16.26 CEST

GOAL! Manchester City 0-1 Ipswich Town (Szmodics 7)

Now then.

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FULL TIME: Brighton & Hove Albion 2-1 Manchester United. “Scott, morning greetings from California.” Morning Mary Waltz. “United lost to Brighton. ‘Shocking’, the familiar reaction from pundits and outrage from the United fan base. Why is anyone surprised? This is how mid-table clubs perform. And this has been MU’s form for the last few years. Win some, lose some, not ‘shocking’ at all.”

The comments section under the match report is ticking over nicely, you’ll be unsurprised to hear.

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A couple of early goals in the Championship. Ebou Adams has given Derby a second-minute lead at Watford, while Christian Saydee has done the same thing for Portsmouth at Middlesbrough. But the most impressive second-minute goal of the day has been scored by Jack Turner for Queen’s Park at Airdrie, impressive because news of it came through just before the clock ticked over to 3.01pm. Some sort of time portal discovered in North Lanarkshire?

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It’s Saturday 3pm! Whistles ring out all across the land. Here we go, then.

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FULL TIME: Brighton & Hove Albion 2-1 Manchester United. Jonathan Wilson was at the Amex this lunchtime to witness Brighton, who have now won five of their last six league meetings with United, get yet another slice of revenge for the 1983 FA Cup final. Here’s his verdict.

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Let us repair to Scotland, where Simon McMahon awaits. “Hello Scott! Hello Clockwatchers! Dundee United v St Johnstone at Tannadice today. United, with draws in their opening two league games, are unchanged after their victory over St Mirren in the Scottish League Cup last week, meaning another start in midfield for Kevin De Bruyne Holt. A win would see Jim Goodwin’s men leapfrog their visitors into the top six, and dreaming of Europe. Hey, it’s still August, so dreams are allowed, right? Today’s other SPL fixtures include Rangers v Ross County and Hibs v Dundee.”

It’s not the last we’ll hear of Simon today, I’ll be bound.

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There’s also an early batch of results in from the Championship …

Bristol City 1-1 Coventry City

Hull City 0-0 Millwall

QPR 1-1 Plymouth

… and League One …

Burton Albion 0-0 Stevenage

Stockport County 2-0 Bristol Rovers

… and finally League Two.

Crewe 0-0 Swindon

Tranmere 1-0 Walsall

That’s a decent draw for Plymouth, partly because they lost their last away fixture 4-0, at Sheffield Wednesday, but mainly because they ended today’s game at Loftus Road with just nine men on the pitch.

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FULL TIME: Brighton & Hove Albion 2-1 Manchester United. The first Premier League result of the day is in. Joao Pedro’s injury-time winner makes it two out of two for Fabian Hürzeler. Brighton keep pulling managerial geniuses out of the hat.

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Team news: Spurs v Everton

Wilson Odobert, box fresh from Burnley, makes his Tottenham debut. Everton also have a debutant in their ranks, Roman Dixon (19) replacing the suspended Ashley Young (39) at the back.

Tottenham Hotspur: Vicario, Porro, Romero, van de Ven, Udogie, Kulusevski, Bissouma, Maddison, Johnson, Son, Odobert.

Subs: Forster, Dragusin, Richarlison, Gray, Bergvall, Werner, Spence, Sarr, Davies.

Everton: Pickford, Dixon, Tarkowski, Keane, Mykolenko, Iroegbunam, Gueye, Harrison, Doucoure, McNeil, Calvert-Lewin.

Subs: Virginia, Holgate, Ndiaye, Beto, O’Brien, Maupay, Lindstrom, Metcalfe, Armstrong.

Referee: Anthony Taylor (Cheshire).

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Updated at 15.10 CEST

Team news: Saints v Forest

Southampton are unchanged. Nikola Milenkovic and Elliot Anderson make their full debuts for Forest.

Southampton: McCarthy, Harwood-Bellis, Bednarek, Stephens, Sugawara, Smallbone, Downes, Aribo, Walker-Peters, Armstrong, Brereton Diaz.

Subs: Lumley, Bree, Fernandes, Archer, Taylor, Edozie, Ugochukwu, Amo-Ameyaw, Dibling.

Nottingham Forest: Sels, Williams, Milenkovic, Murillo, Aina, Sangare, Anderson, Elanga, Gibbs-White, Hudson-Odoi, Wood.

Subs: Carlos Miguel, Awoniyi, Omobamidele, Toffolo, Moreira, Jota Silva, Yates, Boly, Dominguez.

Referee: Sam Barrott (West Yorkshire).

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Updated at 15.14 CEST

Team news: Man City v Ipswich

Ilkay Gundogan is back, and he’s on the City bench. Sammie Szmodics, who came on late against Liverpool last weekend, makes his full Ipswich debut.

Manchester City: Ederson, Akanji, Dias, Gvardiol, Lewis, Kovacic, Savio, Bernardo Silva, De Bruyne, Doku, Haaland.

Subs: Ortega, Walker, Stones, Ake, Grealish, Gundogan, Matheus Luiz, Kabore, McAtee.

Ipswich Town: Muric, Johnson, Tuanzebe, Woolfenden, Greaves, Davis, Hutchinson, Morsy, Luongo, Szmodics, Delap.

Subs: Walton, Edmundson, Chaplin, Harness, Cajuste, Taylor, Burgess, Al Hamadi, Townsend.

Referee: Michael Salisbury (Lancashire).

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Updated at 15.12 CEST

Team news: Fulham v Leicester

Both teams are unchanged. New-signing news: Fulham set aside Sander Berge and Joachim Andersen for another day, but Leicester name Jordan Ayew on the bench.

Fulham: Leno, Tete, Diop, Bassey, Robinson, Andreas Pereira, Lukic, Traore, Smith Rowe, Iwobi, Rodrigo Muniz.

Subs: Benda, Reed, Jimenez, Wilson, Cairney, Cuenca, Castagne, Stansfield, Sessegnon.

Leicester City: Hermansen, Justin, Vestergaard, Faes, Kristiansen, Winks, Ndidi, Fatawu, Buonanotte, De Cordova-Reid, Vardy.

Subs: Ward, Okoli, Mavididi, Choudhury, Ayew, Ricardo Pereira, Skipp, Soumare, McAteer.

Referee: Darren Bond (Lancashire).

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Updated at 15.10 CEST

Team news: Crystal Palace v West Ham

Chadi Riad makes his debut for Crystal Palace. West Ham start with the same XI that began the home defeat to Aston Villa.

Crystal Palace: Henderson, Richards, Guehi, Riad, Munoz, Wharton, Lerma, Mitchell, Edouard, Eze, Mateta.

Subs: Johnstone, Ward, Holding, Sarr, Schlupp, Clyne, Kamada, Doucoure, Ahamada.

West Ham United: Areola, Coufal, Mavropanos, Kilman, Emerson Palmieri, Rodriguez, Bowen, Soucek, Lucas Paqueta, Kudus, Antonio.

Subs: Fabianski, Cresswell, Summerville, Ward-Prowse, Fullkrug, Ings, Alvarez, Todibo, Wan-Bissaka.

Referee: Robert Jones (Merseyside).

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Updated at 15.11 CEST

Preamble

Welcome to our hopefully goal-littered coverage of today’s 3pm kick-offs in the Premier League. Four delicately poised games – Ipswich Town are 18s this afternoon – for your pleasure.

Crystal Palace v West Ham United

Fulham v Leicester City

Manchester City v Ipswich Town

Southampton v Nottingham Forest

Tottenham Hotspur v Everton

Team news coming right up!

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Ange Postecoglou is facing a striker headache against Everton on Saturday after Tottenham’s club-record signing, Dominic Solanke, was ruled out with an ankle injury picked up on debut.

Solanke played the entirety of the 1-1 draw against Leicester on Monday night but is now battling to return before September’s international break. Having struggled with injuries throughout the summer, Richarlison missed the whole of pre-season and only came off the bench for one minute against Leicester. Postecoglou confirmed the Brazilian is fit to start on Saturday but would not be able to last 90 minutes, presenting the manager with the dilemma of whether to instead opt for Dejan Kulusevksi or Son Heung-min in his team’s central striking role.

“It’s not serious enough to keep him out for five weeks,” said Postecoglou of Solanke, whom Spurs signed from Bournemouth for an initial £55m this month. “He’s still a chance for the Newcastle game [on 1 September]. It’s just about how quickly he recovers.

“Every story is written differently. They’re not all fairytales where you come, make your debut and score a hat-trick. He was very good for us at Leicester and we’re disappointed because it was really exciting to see that he is going to fit in really well with what we’re doing. I’ve no doubt about that. It’s just a small hiccup. He misses a game or two. It’s game one of 50-plus games.”

Asked whether the former Bournemouth man required picking up after suffering a blow so early in his Spurs career, Postecoglou joked: “Think of the poor old manager. Forget the player, what about me? I’ve just lost my key striker a week and a half after buying him – I need an arm around me.

“No, it’s all good. We didn’t sign Dom for one match and he knows that. He’s here hopefully for a long time to have a real impact at this club and bring success to it.”

Son was frequently deployed as Spurs’ central striker last season, while Kulusevski impressed there when filling in during pre-season. Postecoglou suggested the Swede “can do a job for us there, but I don’t think it’s his best position”.

Tottenham will also be without Rodrigo Bentancur for the Everton game as the Uruguayan recovers from the concussion he suffered against Leicester. Postecoglou confirmed Yves Bissouma is available for selection after the club imposed a one-match suspension when footage surfaced appearing to show him inhaling laughing gas. But the Australian admitted that the “bridge-building continues” after that incident.

“You know what it’s like when you punish your child and they do everything right for the next two days?” said Postecoglou. “[Bissouma] is first in the meetings, he’s doing everything right but there’s always temptation down the road, so we’ll see.

“I’ve always believed in opportunity for redemption and learning. We’re still in that space at the moment with Biss. But obviously that door closes after a while if there’s repeated [indiscretions].”

REGULATORS, MOUNT UP

Lace up those whalebone corsets and sound the Football Banter klaxon. And if you happen to be surreptitiously reading this while attending an event such as a funeral where the prevailing mood is one of extreme solemnity, then we suggest you unhand your phone and return it to your pocket right now. Because in discovering that a certain top flight football club has been named England’s best-run men’s football club in Fair Game Index, Football Daily immediately came up with an extremely funny gag that we’re pretty certain won’t have been thought up or cracked by any other journalist, broadcaster, random social media disgrace user or Gooner in the hours since the announcement was made. You see, the thing is that Tottenham Hotspur … a-ha-ha … what we’re trying to say is … hoo-hoo … Tottenham Hotspur have final … tee-hee … comedy thigh-slap … what we’re saying is that … splutter-cough-splutter … Tottenham Hotspur have finally won something after not winning anything for a very, very long time.

Honestly, sometimes they write themselves and given the advances in artificial intelligence it is surely only a matter of time before all of Football Daily literally writes itself and the usual gang of human no-marks tasked with putting it together and sending it slithering apologetically into your spam folders are relieved of their squad numbers and bombed out of the first team to train with the stiffs. In the meantime, it behoves us to bring you news of this rare triumph for Spurs, voted England’s best-run football club by Fair Game, an organisation renowned for its championing of an independent regulator that most, if not all clubs in the Premier Club really don’t want.

It goes without saying that Spurs’ suits are thrilled with the latest award. “This ranking further demonstrates the huge strides that are being made off the pitch, with our world-class stadium and innovative partnerships enabling sustainable, recurring investment into our football operations to ensure we remain competitive on the pitch and challenge for major honours”, roared Daniel Levy, with no hint of a smile.

The irony? Spurs have been recognised for the very financial prudence that has contributed to the 16 long trophy-less years that . In a nutshell, of all the clubs in the top seven divisions of the pyramid who are mocked for never winning anything, Tottenham have finally been officially recognised as being the most efficient when it comes to serial failure.

And while Spurs fans might not be delighted by this news, their chief suit was. “As a club that prides itself on good governance – with a key focus on sustainability, fan engagement and delivering for our local communities – we are delighted to have been recognised as England’s best-run club by the Fair Game Index,” continued Levy, upon being told that Fair Game’s report analysed data from clubs across the top seven divisions in English football and gave them a score out of 100 based on financial sustainability, good governance, fan engagement and equality standards. A combined, not massively impressive score of 68.2 out of 100 was enough for Spurs to take the prize, a bang average C+ that speaks volumes about just how badly that independent regulator is needed.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“I used to hate going to football with him. No matter if I played good or I played bad, I’d get in the car and I’d be reduced to tears. He’d say I wouldn’t have done this right, I wouldn’t have done that right. He didn’t do it because he wanted to hurt me. He did it because he cared. Sometimes it was very, very tough to get in that car, my mum would be going ‘Michael, leave him alone he’s done well’. I could have scored three goals. But he would have said, ‘no, you should have scored six’. Only when I’ve got older in my career, he actually says ‘all right, well played son’. After a couple of years at City. I think he was then like ‘you know, he actually can play football’” – Kyle Walker, one of the world’s best right backs, says the tough love he received from his father, Michael, “made me the person and player that I am”.

RECOMMENDED LISTENING

The Football Weekly pod squad return to digest the latest Chelsea chaos and preview the weekend’s Premier League fixtures, including Arsenal’s tricky trip to Villa Park.

“Does the existence of a ‘FD Head Tech Boffin’ (yesterday’s Football Daily Letters) hint at the existence of other ‘Tech Boffin’s’ at work on our favourite daily harbinger of doom and gloom? No wonder it’s such a genuinely funny read every day” – David Bell.

“Rather than having a second team, the PFA should have given us an alternate first team of players not from Arsenal or Manchester City” — JJ Zucal.

“As a fully commited slacker, I was intrigued by Enzo Maresca’s comments about working with his favourite 21 squad players and seemingly not caring a jot for those on long contracts that are not in his immediate plans or line of sight. Todd Boehly might be the butt of jokes in your email but all I can say is where can I find a line manager like that?” – Colin Reed.

“Regarding your Dean Lewington comment, may I be the first of 1,057 pedants to point out that between 2013 and 2024, quite a lot of Franchise FC players have been double the age of the team they are playing for” – Phil Jones (and no others).

Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day winner is … Colin Reed. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.

BREAKOUT BIT

No sooner had Chelsea published a tweet reminding their supporters how much Conor Gallagher loved the club that had just turfed him out, than he was at Atlético’s Metropolitano enjoying a welcome to remind him just how well out of Stamford Bridge he is. Dressed up like a deckchair in his new team’s shirt, he was led into a darkened ground by a pair of Harley Davidson motorcycles, before a man in syoot and pumps announced him to the crowd and he addressed them in Spanish, equal parts mystified and delighted by the novel experience of not being mistreated by his employer.

NEWS, BITS AND BOBS

Jermaine Jenas, the host of Match of the Day 2 and the One Show, has been sacked by the BBC.

John Textor is considering two offers and has serious interest from four other investors for his 45% stake in Crystal Palace as he attempts to accelerate his efforts to buy Everton.

Enzo Maresca having a clearout isn’t everyone’s idea of news, but here we are: Raheem Sterling want a permanent move after being told he’s surplus to requirements at Stamford Bridge.

Remember the excitement about Liverpool’s Bobby Clark, son of Newcastle and Sunderland’s Lee? Well they’ve just sold him to Pep Lijnders’ RB Salzburg for £10m.

Sander Berge has joined Fulham from Burnley for £25m but Everton are unlikely to sign anyone else. “The club seem steadfast with the business we have done,” growled Sean Dyche. England ‘left-back’ Kieran Trippier has been linked, as a player looking for first-team football beyond Newcastle.

STILL WANT MORE?

“Football is medication. For an hour and a half you forget you’ve got cancer.” Comedian Matt Forde gets his chat on with Dominic Booth.

Is the Bundesliga now more competitive than the Premier League? Well they had a new champion last season and Leverkusen are, says Andy Brassell, the team to beat – despite Bayern’s summer transfer splurge.

It’s Ed Aarons on Brighton and the importance of respecting your elders. Sort of.

The NWSL has abolished its draft system in order to attract the best players. Jessica Berman, the league’s commissioner, explains how it’s going to work in a wide-ranging and exclusive interview with Talia Barrington.

MEMORY LANE

There’ve not been many funner, more charismatic or personable footballers than Denis Law – not usually a concern of the nation’s favourite football email. But here he is around the old Joanna in 1960 with Gordon Low, a pal, and Mrs Ethel Sobey, his landlady, accompanied by Mr Bill Sobey and cigarette.