Cartilage Free Captain

good morning!

Don’t ask me how we got here, but your hoddler-in-chief is scraping the bottom of the barrel for today’s topic: the harp emoji.

The Unicode Consortium, which dictates emojis used across the world, on Sunday announced its approval of the harp emoji.

You might be thinking, “Who cares?” Your point is generally understood. But it’s a big deal in the harp world, as covered by Harp Column.

The folks behind the harp emoji said its omission from the unicode lexicon was “egregious” to other musical instruments represented on the keyboard.

“Furthermore, angels are often depicted with harps, and we should all aspire to be angels,” the proposal reads.

Want a look of the new harp emoji? Look no further:

The harp emoji was proposed to feature after the violin emoji. So if you plan on teasing your contacts with the world’s smallest violin, you may accidentally tease them with the world’s smallest harp. Which probably sounds a lot more lovely than the world’s smallest violin.

The new harp emoji will debut later this year or in 2025, according to Harp Column.

All this is pretty exciting, and it might get me to update my phone’s operating software for the first time in at least a year or so (or whenever the last time I updated it).

This also is apparently a big deal for fans of Joanna Newsom, I’ve read. I don’t know of her or her work, but I’m happy for the Joanna Newsom fans. More importantly, I’m happy for all the harp enthusiasts out there.

Fitzie’s track of the day: The Gardens, by Chick Correa

And now for your links:

Alasdair Gold: Ange Postecoglou has ‘nowhere to hide’ after trophy remark

Dan KP: Postecoglou puts pressure on himself but ‘deserves total Spurs support’

The Athletic ($$): How Arsenal exploited space left by Spurs

There’s been a lot of fan reaction to Ange Postecoglou’s reactions to the press after Tottenham Hotspur’s 1-0 loss at home to Arsenal in the first North London Derby of the season. Ange was asked by a Sky Sports reporter after the match about his record of winning titles and trophies in his second season with a club, but kept pulling the microphone away from Ange before he had a chance to speak. This clearly irritated the Spurs boss, and he responded rather tetchily to the exchange.

“Am I going to answer the question or are you going to keep asking it? Absolutely and I’ll correct myself, I don’t usually win things, I always win things in my second year, nothing’s changed.

“Well I’ve just said it now. I don’t say things unless I believe them.”

Strangely, fans have taken this statement as Ange making a guarantee that Tottenham will win silverware this season, and using it as something like a rhetorical cudgel now that Spurs have taken just four points from its first four matches of the season.

I disagree with this framing, and here’s why. First, Ange is correct about winning things in his second year at a club — up to this point, he always has. That’s not a prediction, that’s history. Postecoglou is also a person with an enormous amount of self-belief in his system, his tactics, and his ability as a manager to get the best out of his players.

But that’s not the same thing as a guarantee. For starters, what else is he going to say in this situation? He’s fresh off a disappointing loss to the second-best team in the league who also happens to be Spurs’ biggest rivals, and he’s dealing with a reporter that’s annoying him immediately after the match. I’d be grumpy about that too. He’s making a bold statement, but it’s less about what Spurs are going to do and more about what he has accomplished at every step of his coaching career up to this point. His record is right there, he’s just pointing to it.

Now, is he setting expectations too high? I suppose you can argue that, if you’re a pessimist. But Ange is not guaranteeing Spurs are going to win a domestic Cup or the Europa League or even the Premier League title, he’s continuing to do what he’s always done — set conditions of belief for himself and his players to accomplish what nobody else thinks can be accomplished. Likewise, he’s not going to tell a reporter — or anyone else — that fans shouldn’t expect Spurs to win something this season. Imagine the reaction if he were to say that!

Let’s not forget that this is the worst start to a Premier League season since 2015-16 when Spurs lost their first match and drew the next three, taking three points from their first four matches under Mauricio Pochettino. Spurs went on to make a serious title challenge that season, finishing (irritatingly) third in a two-horse race, one of their best ever seasons in modern history. Does that mean Spurs will do something similar this season? Of course not, but the season is long, form is temporary, and the things Spurs are struggling with now are not necessarily the things that they will struggle with down the road.

Winning things is hard. No manager would ever guarantee that their team will win something because that sets an impossible expectation where anything less is considered failure. But fans getting mad that Postecoglu is “guaranteeing” a trophy while trying to keep his squad motivated for a long season ahead on the back of two straight losses in tough games says more about the fans than it does about Postecoglou.

good morning —

One of the hoddles I enjoy writing least is the one after Tottenham Hotspur lose against Arsenal or Chelsea. There’s nothing to say, and efforts I make to write about anything else go unheeded.

Which is fine. The comments don’t exactly blow up anyhow.

And I’m a man of the people. So I’m not going to hoddle it up today.

I’m pretty disappointed in yesterday’s result. In fact, I feel angry ...

I spent the rest of my day going to the barbour, enjoying a post-run meal and proceeding to sleep an hour on the couch while having the Ravens game on.

Yesterday’s result sucked. So here we go. Here’s your hoddle.

Fitzie’s track of the day: Abel, by The National

And now for your links:

The Athletic’s ($$) recap of Spurs-Arsenal

Spurs and the ‘same old story’

Crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap crap.

It’s time to rate the players.

Rate the players from 1⁄2 to 5 stars. If the player doesn’t deserve a rating due to minutes played, DO NOT RANK. I will round the stars up/down to the nearest half-star for the player ratings later this week.

After the long, dark teatime of the soul we call the international break, Tottenham Hotspur were back in action with an early North London Derby. After a mixed start to the season, it was a chance for Spurs to put a marker in the sand against a strong team and claim North London bragging rights. Instead, they will be wondering what could have been after Arsenal nicked a goal arguably against the run of play to take all three points.

Both sides were hit by injury, with Arsenal missing Riccardo Calafiori and captain Martin Odegaard due to knocks picked up on international duty, with Tottenham likewise missing Yves Bissouma for the same reason as he was replaced in the Spurs XI by Rodrigo Bentancur. Declan Rice also missed the match for Arsenal due to suspension, but Spurs had some more positive news as both Dominic Solanke and Micky van de Ven returned from injury to start for the Lilywhites.

Dejan Kulusevski had the first shot on target of the match after a cagey but controlled start from Spurs, with the home side dominating the ball. Solanke had a golden chance soon thereafter to open both the scoring and his Tottenham account after the ball fell to him in space at the top of the Arsenal box after good work by Son Heung-min in the press, but the striker strangely opted not to shoot and instead lost possession. Arsenal always looked a threat going forward, however, and it was only the gloves of Guglielmo that kept the ledger empty as he made an excellent save off a Kai Havertz header, before Gabriel Martinelli spurned a huge opportunity of his own: shooting straight at the Italian when in behind the Tottenham defense.

Solanke came close once more, looping a header past both the outstretched arms of David Raya and the post, but the real star of the first half was the referee’s book. Jarred Gillett handed out seven yellows in the first 45, with William Saliba, Destiny Udogie, Bentancur, van de Ven, and Kulusevski all recipients; but it was two others, Jurrien Timber and Vicario, that led to an early flashpoint after the Arsenal left back collected Pedro Porro with a high boot. A late Brennan Johnson shot was the only further moment of note as the first half finished goalless.

The Spurs press, which had some good moments in the first half, was in full effect at the start of the second, with Solanke working well to win the ball before his header deflected wide. Van de Ven soon had a header of his own saved following a set piece, but unfortunately the same couldn’t be said at the other end, as Gabriel leapt highest on an Arsenal corner to score the match’s solitary goal. The Brazilian gave Cristian Romero a bit of a shove to create space for himself, but it was never enough to overturn the goal, and Romero should have been stronger.

Ange Postecoglou immediately made substitutions in response, with Pape Matar Sarr coming on for Bentancur and Wilson Odobert for Johnson as Tottenham pushed for an equalizer, before Postecoglou made an even more aggressive change: Timo Werner on for James Maddison. Mikel Arteta responded with some Arsenal substitutions, with Leandro Trossard and Martinelli making way for Raheem Sterling and Gabriel Jesus, before Bukayo Saka limped off to be replaced by Ethan Nwaneri.

Unfortunately for Spurs, even the aggressive subs weren’t enough to break down the Arsenal backline, as Tottenham were reduced to hopeful crosses and long-range speculators before the referee drew the match to a close with the scoreline Tottenham 0, Arsenal 1.

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Tottenham Hotspur Women have completed the signing of talented Spanish midfielder Maite Oroz from Real Madrid just ahead of the transfer deadline. The twenty-six year old joins for the next four years and will wear the number 10.

I’m not going to beat around the bush—this signing absolutely rules. After failing to sign Grace Clinton on a permanent basis and losing Kit Graham to another ACL injury, Spurs were in dire need of another attacking midfielder, and perhaps in even more dire need of someone who can progress the ball. Maite Oroz fits the bill perfectly.

Maite Oroz is—and I can’t overstate this—a phenomenal passer. A quick look at fbref tells me she passes a lot, extremely progressively, and with a great deal of accuracy. I don’t know if we’ve ever seen a passer like this at Tottenham, and to be quite honest, I can’t wait. With her ability to link up play and her excellent technical attributes, she’ll be a great fit for Robert Vilahamn’s possession-based style. As an added bonus, she seems surprisingly competent in the air for someone who measures in at about 5’1”.

Oroz joined Real Madrid in 2020 as a part of their first ever women’s squad. With Madrid, she registered 12 goals in 110 league appearances, with additional appearances in the Champions League (although it’s worth noting that Real Madrid don’t tend to make it very far in this competition). Oroz also has four goals in fifteen international appearances, and she was a part of the Spanish side that won the 2023-24 UEFA Women’s Nations League. Oroz didn’t play quite as much last year, but Real Madrid turned down other offers for Oroz this summer and even went so far as to make her co-captain ahead of the upcoming season, reaffirming their faith in her.

“At the end of the day, I was very clear when this door opened and the opportunity arose, I didn’t need to think twice, because it’s such a big club where I can really grow as a player and a person,” Oroz said in her welcome interview.

Oroz should fit right in alongside her former Real Madrid teammate and fellow brand new Spurs player, Hayley Raso, who she apparently spoke to before joining. Still, we should give her time to adapt to the WSL, especially given that the WSL tends to be quite physical, and Oroz is on the smaller side. I wish it hadn’t taken an injury to Kit to see us make a move like this, but all things considered, this signing is excellent news for our current squad. We’ve offered an excellent player in her prime a four year contract, so it spells even better news for the future.

So, let’s give a big, big welcome to Tottenham, Maite Oroz! I can’t wait to see what you can do.

Tottenham Hotspur fans have been waiting with baited breath for news about the health of several of Spurs’ players ahead of Sunday’s first North London Derby of the season. Ange Postecoglou has provided some answers, and it’s somewhat of a mixed bag.

In an update posted on the club website, Postecoglou gave a positive update on Micky van de Ven and Dominic Solanke, but there are major questions over Yves Bissouma, and confirmation that Richarlison and Will Lankshear remain in rehab.

“It’s fairly positive [news]. Micky [van de Ven]’s good, he’s trained all the way through the international break and it was good for him to stay with us to build him back up so he’s ready to go.

“[Dominic Solanke] improved as well and trained the back half of this week. We still have two days to go with those guys so hopefully they get through training ok and are available.

“We had the last of the boys in late yesterday so we’ll have a look at them today and everyone’s reporting all well except for [Yves Bissouma]. He’s got a bit of an issue, but we’ll have a look at him over the next couple of days and see how it settles.

“[Richarlison]’s still got a bit of work to do, alongside Will Lankshear who is still in rehab.”

Like I said — pretty mixed! Having Micky van de Ven back against a very good, if injury-ridden, Arsenal team will be a huge boost, but it’s not exactly a glowing endorsement of Solanke’s readiness. It sounds like he’s on the mend and will likely feature, but Ange’s comments are qualified and it doesn’t sound like a sure thing.

Fans feared Bissouma’s fitness after he was subbed early from a Mali match while on international duty this week, and those fears appear to be realized. Ange’s comments make it sound like it will be a match-time decision as to whether he will feature, and I’d be surprised if he goes the full 90 minutes, or even starts. And Spurs continue to be light at striker, with BIG WILLY LANKS still recovering from a hamstring injury and Richarlison just basically broken at this point.

The good news is that Arsenal is even worse off than we are. Declan Rice will miss the match after picking up a red card in the Gooners’ last match. Martin Ødegaard and new signings Riccardo Calafiori and Mikel Merino are also likely to miss the match with recent injuries. Takehiro Tomiyasu and Kieran Tierney are both on the long-term injury list, though Arsenal could welcome Gabriel Jesus back to the squad by Sunday.

The North London Derby is always a match where you ignore things like injury crises and winning streaks, because both teams always play hard against each other and anything can happen. Spurs will be hoping that they can turn what has been an start of the season full of good play but absent consistent results into a positive performance at home against their arch-rivals.

It is that time of year again. The North London Derby has arrived, this time with Tottenham Hotspur hosting the first edition (and wearing a home kit, lol). It has not been the desired start to the new season for Spurs, having collected just four points through the first three weeks, though there have been some encouraging signs on the pitch despite suboptimal final results.

Still, now is not the time for moral victories. Arsenal comes into the season with humongous expectations after falling short to City in back-to-back years and have gotten the best of its rival during this stretch. A Tottenham win could really kick this season into motion, but yet another derby defeat would only serve to build up the doubt.

Tottenham Hotspur (t-10th, 4pts) vs. Arsenal (t-3rd, 7pts)

Date: Sunday, September 5

Time: 9:00 am ET, 2:00 pm UK

Location: Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, London

TV: USA Network (USA), Sky Sports Main Event (UK)

Arsenal started the season with a pair of 2-0 wins over Wolves and Villa but dropped points against Brighton before the international break, in part due to Declan Rice’s foolish sending off. That unnecessary second yellow card — which keeps him out on Sunday — looks even worse after Martin Odegaard’s ankle injury this week with Norway. After Spurs are dates with Atalanta and City, with PSG not far way either, so this is the start of a crucial period.

Despite these absences, few Tottenham supporters will be optimistic heading into this one. Spurs have lost the past two North London Derbies at home, with April’s comeback attempt not enough after going down 0-3 in the first half. Tottenham did come away with a point last September at the Emirates as Heung-Min Son responded both times after the visitors went down, including after a hilarious Jorginho giveaway. Wonder if Arsenal could have used those two points last season...

Darts Only

The fanbase is experiencing some sort of glass-half-full Rorschach test right now regarding the squad’s attacking potential. No team has enjoyed more possession this season and Spurs are second in both shots and shots on target. The team’s six goals are tied for fourth in the league, yet it feels like all of this effort has been both wasteful and insufficient.

One goal from 15 shots against Leicester and a sole own goal from 20 against Newcastle highlight the issue. While Tottenham is consistently peppering the ball at the net, these are not exactly the highest-quality chances (evidenced by an xG ranking just eighth). Instead of James Maddison perfectly placed darts, or at least goals worthy of a dart-like celebration, the Spurs attack has instead resembled a blindfolded dart thrower, wishfully hoping to make a lucky shot.

The Arsenal defense remains formidable and has conceded just one goal so far, coming only after the team was down to 10 men. There will be shots allowed, as Spurs have actually faced fewer shots than their rivals, but continuing to just fire away aimlessly feels like a trap this weekend. Quality over quantity is key here; for Tottenham to find the back of the net, it will take some well-worked passages of play, not just long-distance rips like last time out at St James’ Park.

Midfield Mania

This one is going to come down to the midfield, but perhaps not how everyone expected a couple weeks ago. Arsenal has been very strong in the middle of the pitch recently, but without Rice and Odegaard — plus Mikel Merino somehow getting injured before even playing a minute — this is a prime opportunity for Spurs to take control and finally reverse their fortunes in this fixture.

Ange Postecoglou has already started three different midfield trios in the first three matches, but it is unclear if this variety is actually a benefit or not, as perhaps it just shows that there is not an obvious best XI at the moment. Maddison will certainly start, and Yves Bissouma seems like the right choice to play the No. 6, but whether it is Pape Sarr, Dejan Kulusevski, or someone else joining them is difficult to decipher.

Either way, this is where the match will be decided. Sure, striker is still an open question and the back line has had some inopportune breakdowns this season, but how well Tottenham can turn its possession into meaningful opportunities and how well the midfield prevents Arsenal from controlling the match and striking on counters. It may be a stretch to say Spurs will have the decisive advantage here, but this is absolutely the situation the team needs to capitalize on.

It’s been a slow couple of weeks around these parts, what with the stupid international break and the transfer window freshly closed. There haven’t even been any stupid transfer rumors to get us worked up about, and the only other thing going on is today’s news that Rodrigo Bentancur is likely going to get banned for being an insensitive idiot.

So what we need is a distraction. And I’ve got one for you! It all started with this tweet, and a subsequent long discussion in Carty Free’s Slack channel.

Franz Ferdinand. A true #Barclaysman indeed. But hold it — what exactly IS a “Barclaysman?” Here’s how we described it:

Barclaysman describes guys who played in the Barclays Premier League in the 2000s and early 2010s who were good and league staples, but not stars. They weren’t crap enough to be called crap, occasionally did some really cool stuff, but bounced around the median with regards to ability and league performance. They defined the level and style of football in that particular era — “players’ players,” guys you enjoyed watching play... but not enough to not scream at them every other match or so.

So there you go, and that pulled us down a long and deep rabbit hole about who exactly were the Barclaysmen of Tottenham Hotspur. We talked, and debated, and occasionally argued and the end result is this: the Tottenham Hotspur Barclaysman XI.

Let’s remember some guys!

Bench: Kasey Kellar, Didier Zokora, Vedran Corluka, Benoit Assou-Ekotto, Jamie O’Hara, Eidur Gudjohnsen, Mido

Manager: Harry Redknapp

Now, we took some arbitrary liberties with this lineup. Some players we dismissed as too good (and we can argue about Aaron Lennon!). Others weren’t here long enough to really feel like they’re a Spurs Barclaysman (Stephen Pienaar is a great example, he’s Barclays to the core but he’s Everton’s Barclaysman more than he is Tottenham’s). And there’s plenty to discuss and argue about here. Let’s go through the starting XI.

Keeper: Huerelho Gomes

My god, Gomes. Depending on who you ask he was either Tottenham’s best-ever keeper at that point in the Premier League era or a Brazilian fraud who flapped at corners and was always good for a howler. In truth: he was both, equally capable of standing on his head or making the dumbest of basic mistakes. A true Barclaysman.

Defenders: Lee Pyong-ho, Anthony Gardner, Michael Dawson, Younes Kaboul

OK, we cheated a bit — Kaboul isn’t a right back, but we had to shoehorn him in somewhere. He kind of defined the immediate post-Ledley King back line era — solid enough, but not good enough that we couldn’t upgrade him after a couple years or that he’d be in danger of getting poached by a bigger club.

Michael Dawson might be a controversial choice — borderline club legend, affable guy, workmanlike, COYS to his core, but really only at his best when played beside King, and once Ledley retired you could see the cracks in his game emerge. Left Spurs to go to Hull City, which tells you a lot.

Anthony Gardner may predate a lot of fandoms — cool player, did some amazing stuff from time to time and even earned a single England cap, but he was famously made of glass and broke all the time.

Lee Young-pyo was Tottenham’s first Korean player and he did some absolutely mad stuff back in the day. He was considered one of the best left backs in the Netherlands before coming to Spurs to play under Martin Jol, and is maybe best known for attempting a spinning backheel nutmeg in his own box. Just a workmanlike fullback, proper Barclaysman.

Midfielders: Tom Huddlestone, Steed Malbranque, Jermaine Jenas

I unabashedly love THuddz. The guy was not what you’d call “fast” or even especially “mobile” but stick him at the base of midfield and let him tackle dudes and ping long balls from deep and he could be sublime. He was Tottenham’s Pirlo, only without the good hair and titles.

STEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED! That’s it. That’s the comment.

Jermain Jenas has is uh problems right now but as a player he was perfectly cromulent. Capable of doing a job and occasionally putting in a truly divine performance, he ended up with 100 appearances for Tottenham. And yet, looking back most people are like “Oh yeah, Jenas, he was alright.” That’s the mark of a Barclaysman.

Wingers: Niko Kranjcar, Aaron Lennon

Good ol’ Niko. His career is almost quintessentially Barclaysman, if you expand it out to include continental clubs: Dinamo Zagreb, Hajduk Split, Tottenham, Dynamyo Kyiv, New York Cosmos, Rangers. Pretty decent career, but not one you’d point to and say “this guy was a star.” He was a solid enough player and a workman-like dude, especially under Harry Redknapp, very capable of putting in a solid performance, but ended up firmly in Gareth Bale’s shadow by the end.

If I’m honest, Aaron Lennon is probably too good to be a true Barclaysman, but I can’t leave him out. So he gets the start and the captain’s badge. All hail.

Striker: Roman Pavlyuchenko

Super Pav! He sort of defined Tottenham’s ability level in the Redknapp years and embodied all the promise and frustration that came along with it. He was good for the occasional banger and certainly did know where the goal is, but very often it would’ve been better if the goal was set about 20 feet higher than where it actually was. We had SO MANY Pavlyuchenko Row Z memes on Carty Free, y’all. It was a glorious time.

Manager: Harry Redknapp

In the modern era I don’t think there were too many managers better at getting the most out of a relatively middling group of players than Harry Redknapp, which is why he made a career out of rehabilitating clubs in trouble. My guy bounced around from crappy club to crappy club doing reclamation work, and never found any greater success than at Spurs, even taking them to their first ever Champions League. Nearly had the England job too, which would’ve enshrined him as the Barclaysman of all Barclaysman managers.

Now we turn it over to you! Stop arguing about controversial stuff — start arguing about stupid shit instead, like who we should’ve included in our list of Spurs Barclaysmen. Have your say in the comments and enjoy this opportunity to Remember Some Guys!™