IT IS the worst ‘big match’ in Premier League history.
The first time that two of English football’s so-called elite have met at such an advanced stage of the season with both clubs languishing in the bottom half of the table.
Glory, Glory Tottenham Hotspur, anyone? Or glory, glory, Man Utd for that matter?
Not when the two clubs contesting this underachievers derby head into the weekend in 13th and 14th positions. And by kick-off at 4.30pm on Sunday, that could even read 15th against 16th.
If Sky are billing this as Super Sunday, they will be doing so with tongue firmly in cheek. And neutrals tuning in will feel like rubber-neckers at a car-crash site.
Not since both clubs were relegated from the top flight in the 1970s have either experienced quite such a dire campaign.
In the Big Six era, we have never seen the like. Only Chelsea’s meltdown in 2015-16 compares to the season either Spurs or the Red Devils are suffering.
And this is no sudden implosion like the one which ended Jose Mourinho’s second Stamford Bridge reign. For United and Spurs, this represents a reckoning after years of flawed decision-making and chronic mismanagement.
Losing has become a bad habit for both, seeing them overtaken by smaller clubs such as Bournemouth, Brentford, Brighton and Fulham, as well as a resurgent Nottingham Forest under former Tottenham manager Nuno Espirito Santo.
Ange Postecoglou’s injury-ravaged Spurs ended a horror run of one point from seven games with victory at Brentford in their last league outing.
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But they have been dumped out of both domestic cups since.
United have lost five of their last six league games at Old Trafford, and even though their away form has been better under Ruben Amorim, this has been a shocking season even by the dismal standards of the post-Ferguson era.
The similarities are glaring.
Two tactically-dogmatic managers wedded to their philosophies, intransigent in the face of defeat — Postecoglou’s compulsion for playing out from the back, Amorim’s adamance that his 3-4-3 is non-negotiable.
Two rare English overlords in the boardrooms, both giving foreign owners a good name.
Spurs fans will protest against Daniel Levy, yet his reputation for penny-pinching looks absurd when held up against Sir Jim Ratcliffe’s cost-cutting since he became a minority owner at Old Trafford — where another raft of demoralising backroom redundancies is in the offing.
Two squads bereft of confidence, both lacking effective on-field leadership, where senior players have failed to grasp the nettle, meaning promising youngsters are unable to thrive.
Is there any way out of this death spiral for either club? And just how low could they fall?
At least the bottom four are so distant that relegation should not be a serious concern. It is easier to argue the case for a swift turnaround in fortunes at Spurs and Big Ange has been doing so in every media appearance.
Tottenham’s injury list has been extreme — losing a first-choice keeper, an entire back four and a quartet of attacking players would send most teams into a nosedive.
Not that this excuses home defeats by Ipswich and Leicester, nor the manner of their gutless capitulation at Anfield in the Carabao Cup semi-final second leg as Liverpool cruised to a 4-0 win.
But United’s early struggles under Amorim are a positive for Postecoglou — proof that changing managers in mid-season doesn’t necessarily provide a bounce.
Spurs have the modern infrastructure which United crave.
Yet their magnificent stadium suggests a shiny new Wembley of the North at Old Trafford is unlikely to have any positive impact on United's long-term playing prospects either.
The struggling North London club have also recruited promising young players in the last two windows, a path Ratcliffe intends to follow.
Everyone wants a long-term plan but in the knee-jerk ‘now culture’ of the Premier League, how soon is the future?
Tottenham have already defeated United twice this season — a 3-0 drubbing at Old Trafford and a crazy 4-3 victory in the Carabao Cup quarter-final.
With some fit-again reinforcements expected, a third success over their fellow crisis club could be mood-altering.
For United, the picture is more bleak.
There is no battalion ready to rise off the treatment table.
Indeed, after loaning out Marcus Rashford and Antony in January, without recruiting any replacements, there is a serious dearth of attacking players in Amorim’s squad.
The Portuguese boss must limp through to the end of the season, hoping for another miraculous Cup run like the one which gave Erik ten Hag a reprieve last year.
And then perhaps a major summer revamp — not that several similar revamps have worked at United in recent years.
Could the Europa League represent a lifeline for either club?
Earlier this season, Mourinho — who managed both — declared that the Red Devils and Tottenham were the two firm favourites to win the Europa League, due to the Premier League’s economic clout.
This ought to be true but the reality is different. No English club has won Uefa’s second-tier competition in the last five seasons, with only Ole Gunnar Solskjaer’s United reaching the final during that time.
For now, though, we have a meeting of glum and glummer — a macabre circus, with the losers sentenced to further humiliation and ridicule.
Roll up, roll up, for the greatest sewage show on Earth.