Perfect Sunday at the ‘destination’
THERE are three posters on the walls of Camden Town underground station which I am finding aggravating.
First off, no matter how many times you show me a poster for The Play That Goes Wrong, I’m not going to buy a ticket.
Secondly, north London does not need to see Erling Haaland promoting sportswear with the catchline: Winning is a habit.
Let’s see if that’s the case when Manchester City’s lawyers have to explain away 115 charges of financial doping during that ugly period when a club nobody cared about with no trophies became a club nobody cared about with all of the trophies.
And finally, have you seen the one which reads: Destination Tottenham?
Amid all the garish fairground colours, the text asks us to understand that the newish Tottenham Hotspur Stadium is more than a football ground – it’s four attractions in one!
This theme park offers go-karting fun – as if go-karting has ever been fun to anybody other than an awful, cackling best man – and the chance to climb on top of the roof, like even duller stag parties do at the Millenium Dome each Saturday for the ‘daytime activity’.
The general idea of the promo is that here is a place where you can have fun… even if, ahem, the football can be a bit rubbish.
The ad push seems to be that you can forget all that Premier League nonsense, and come and have a fun day out at Tottenham regardless.
This is where I can come in and maybe offer a little help and money-saving advice to their marketing squad.
Lads, relax! You’re doing great!
You don’t need go-karts, abseiling, cheese rooms or even Beyoncé – you’ve already made ‘Spurs away’ a lovely experience for us all. Thank you!
In fact, our annual trip up the once rocky road has become a stress-free, relaxing jaunt which may finally provide an answer to the age old question: What’s your perfect Sunday?
It is so generous that instead of creating a Spurs fortress where everything may have seemed hostile, your wonderful operation has created a no hassle trip in which we can watch Arsenal beat Tottenham in comfort every season – and then toast the success with your quick lager delivery machine. That’s five stars on Trip Adviser!
Destination Tottenham? Yes please, we’ll be sure to call in again.
