WHEN it comes to local derbies, they like to talk about ‘bragging rights’.
Yet when you demolish your most bitter rivals with a hat-trick from a bloke you have just hijacked from beneath their noses, to soar six points clear at the Premier League summit, it is far more than that.
Eberechi Eze ensured sniggering rights, giggling rights and bloody great belly-laughing rights for the Arsenal with a brilliantly-taken treble against the club he had so nearly joined in August.
When Eze fired his second, just 36 seconds after the break, he stuck his hand across his face and pretended to stifle a chuckle.
Back in late summer, Tottenham had agreed a £67.5million fee to sign this boyhood Gooner from Crystal Palace.
Yet Mikel Arteta snuck in and blindsided Thomas Frank, matching the fee and sweet-talking Eze back to the club who had rejected him as a schoolboy.
Eze had been easing himself in at his new club – decent but unspectacular, with just one Premier League goal before this.
It was almost as if Eze had been waiting until his first North London Derby for the chance to truly detonate – and he did so in extraordinary style with a trio of exceptional finishes from the No 10 role.
Leandro Trossard had fired Arsenal in front before Eze’s double either side of half-time had punished a negative Spurs side set up in a vain attempt to smother their neighbours.
After Richarlison had netted a 40-yard stunner, Eze slammed the door shut by completing the first hat-trick of his professional career.
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Following Manchester City’s defeat at Newcastle the previous evening, the Gunners have restored a six-point lead at the top – and none of their serious rivals are showing anything like the consistency to haul them in.
A first Premier League title since the Invincibles campaign of 22 years ago now looks extremely likely.
Before kick-off, the Gooners had unveiled a vast tifo of current and former players – with a Godzilla-sized Sol Campbell roaring at the top of the montage, just to make sure their neighbours felt fully welcomed.
Spurs had lost five of the previous six North London derbies, not winning one since the departure of Harry Kane – the most prolific scorer in the history of this fixture.
And Arsenal had conceded just once at the Emirates all season, to Erling Haaland two months ago, having kept seven clean sheets here.
Yet Arteta’s defensive rock Gabriel had been injured on international duty, meaning a first Premier League start for Piero Hincapie.
It was Frank’s first taste of the derby and he went in belt and braces – five men strung across the back, with two holding midfielders.
Still, it took less than three minutes for Arsenal to slice Tottenham open – Bukayo Saka roaming in from the right, Eze with a cunning dink for Declan Rice to volley and Guglielmo Vicario to save with his legs.
Hostility was bubbling, Richarlison in wasp-at-a-picnic mode, but Spurs soon settled, smothered and dimmed the atmosphere.
Saka skimmed a free-kick onto the roof of the net and a little later, he cut inside Micky Van de Ven forcing Rodrigo Bentancur to bring him down at the cost of a booking.
This time, Saka curled a free-kick towards the back post but Vicario pushed it away.
Spurs had been employing full-on Pulisball – stout defending, big hoofs into the Arsenal 22, hoping to win a few line-outs for Kevin Danso’s long throws to reach the dancefloor.
It didn’t work for long as Arsenal seized a two-goal lead with little time for blinking.
First Mikel Merino, drifting deep from his role as a makeshift centre-forward, lofted a delightful pass to release Trossard who swivelled and tucked home via a deflection off Van de Ven.
Within five minutes, it was two – and the sweetest of moments for Eze.
Danso’s attempted clearance fell to Rice who fed the former Crystal Palace man.
Eze twisted past two defenders and then drilled low past Vicario as two more Spurs players converged on him in vain.
Before the break, Jurrien Timber and Destiny Udogie rugby-tackled one another to give the impression that there might still be some sort of contest.
It was fake news. Within 36 seconds of the restart – before most Gooners had returned from their half-time pints and pies – it was 3-0.
This time, Saka won possession from a dithering Wilson Odobert, Timber darted in from the right and located Eze, who struck a sweet shot low inside the far post, celebrating with a hand over his chuckling face.
Frank had replaced Danso with Xavi Simons at half-time, at least showing some attacking intent.
And Spurs did make a remarkable response. Joao Palhinha, the Premier League’s last truly great tackler, robbed Martin Zubimendi in the centre circle and Richarlison advanced to lob David Raya with an outrageous effort from more than 40 yards.
How Spursy to score a goal of the season contender as a consolation in a derby thrashing.
Soon Trossard was squaring for Eze to lash past Vicario as Udogie slid and fell flat on his backside.
There was almost a fourth for Eze when Vicario pushed out another powerful effort.
But the hooting was loud enough already. Frank’s Spurs were being laughed all the way back along the Seven Sisters Road.
