It was a hard-fought and kinda even affair in the end, but Tottenham Hotspur couldn’t quite find the back of the net to earn another result against Manchester City on Wednesday, losing 0-1 at home to an Erling Haaland tap-in. Spurs had the chance to do the triple over Pep Guardiola this season, but instead it’s their three game league winning streak that gets snapped. The good news is Spurs have the weekend off in order to rest and prepare for their Europa League Round of 16 first leg tie against AZ Alkmaar in the Netherlands.
I’m hardly a Beatles expert. In fact, I’m not even really a Beatles fan and I could take or leave their music generally, while acknowledging their cultural and musical significance. The Beatles did put out some absolute bangers, but they also had some stuff that was experimental, weird, or just plain goofy. Sometimes those two Venn diagram circles overlapped. And that’s what we’re going to focus on today.
Here are my Tottenham Hotspur player ratings for their 0-1 home loss to Manchester City to the theme of downright goofy Beatles songs that still bang. This is hardly an exhaustive list that scours their entire musical corpus — just the songs off the top of my head that fit the category. There are weirder Beatles songs — Maxwell’s Silver Hammer, Yellow Submarine, Rocky Racoon, etc. — but they may just be goofy and not slap like the ones I identified below. But for the true Beatles-heads among us here, feel free to tell me where I got things hilariously wrong.
This is just without question a banger of a song, and the lyrics are basically a 1960s amateur novel pitch to a publisher. Bizarre theme, but McCartney’s bass playing just bangs on this one and it’s a real toe-tapper. Goofy as hell and I love it. Incidentally I also love the above linked video of the lads “playing” in what looks like Highgate Cemetery but they didn’t bother to set up the drum kit so Ringo’s just sitting at the ground nodding forlornly.
No Tottenham players in this category.
This song goes hard. Honestly, if not for the weird barking at the end by John and Paul I wonder if this song would’ve been much, much more popular. It rules.
Just filling out the categories.
I had Bungalow Bill here at first and feel I need to mention it as an honorable mention (the ultimate We’re All Drunk in the Pub sing-a-long chorus) but then was reminded of this song from “Revolver,” which is psychedelic and strange and fun and upbeat and driving and awesome. I just can’t leave it out.
Guglielmo Vicario (Community — 4.0): Saved Spurs’ bacon with several important stops in the first half, a few of them spectacular. Didn’t have much to do in the second half.
Kevin Danso (Community — 3.5): Solid defensive performance in trying circumstances, and had two decent headers on target.
Djed Spence (Community — 4.0): On form he’s probably Spurs’ best fullback right now. Glided into space with the ball in a way that Udogie hasn’t shown yet, and confident with the ball at his feet. Good match.
The Beatles were certainly ahead of their time, and that’s apparent by this song, which sounds like standard late 1970s punk but was recorded in 1968. The absurdist lyrics only add to the character of this one, which is, yes, goofy but also is a real head-nodder.
Archie Gray (Community — 3.5): A tough job against a talented City offense, and Archie did his job as well as he was able. These CB minutes will pay dividends next season.
Rodrigo Bentancur (Community — 3.5): Picked up a cheap yellow early on, but stabilized and was one of Spurs’ better performers on the day.
Lucas Bergvall (Community — 3.5): Saucy with the ball at his feet and kept the ball moving with his carrying ability. You can see his comfort at this level improving with every match.
James Maddison (Community — 3.5): Spurs’ only source of creativity in this one. Was a key player in Tottenham’s 2nd half offensive surge.
Wilson Odobert (Community — 3.0): I feel like we’re still just getting to know Wilson this season, and he had some exciting moments in this one. I was almost sad to see him withdrawn for Son.
Ange Postecoglou (Community — 3.0): Getting criticized ex post facto for rotating the squad against City, but I think regardless of the scoreline it was the right move. Got some minutes into the legs of players that need it, and got some important rest for senior players who will likely start next week against AZ.
OK, you probably expected me to put Yellow Submarine here, but that felt too obvious, so instead I’m going with the SECOND track to this album. I saw All Together Now described online as “pure children’s television” — weird, and slightly off-putting from the band that recorded “Come Together”, but still strangely compelling and uptempo.
Pedro Porro (Community — 3.0): Got repeatedly blitzed by Dorgu in the first half, but stabilized in the second, especially on the offensive side of the ball.
Destiny Udogie (Community — 3.0): Had his moments, and is certainly still shaking off rust. Lost Haaland in the box for the City goal, but also did some good things in combination with Odobert.
Brennan Johnson (Community — 2.5): Johnson is never a good pick against a side that presses, and he was almost completely anonymous for much of this match. But he did have some good passes into the box late in the 2nd half when Spurs were pressing for an equalizer. It’s enough for me to kick him into a 3 star category, if barely.
Pape Sarr (Community — 3.0): Added some pace and energy to the midfield. Would be up at 4 stars if he had converted that last-gasp scoring opportunity.
Dejan Kulusevski (Community — 3.0): Rested for this match, and couldn’t quite replicate the creativity offered by Maddison after coming on.
Son Heung-Min (Community — 3.0): A good sub to run at tired legs late in the game, but he wasn’t quite able to make a significant impact in the short time he had on the pitch.
A fairly standard blues-rock track about having public sex in the middle of the street. Strange as hell, but also... yeah, I can dig it.
Mathys Tel (Community — 2.5): I don’t know if it’s his fault and he’s only been here a short time but Tel is proving to be more of a project than anticipated. This was a bad match for him against a very good team. His ceiling is incredibly high, but is he £50m summer option worthy? Not sure.
Seriously trippy George Harrison vehicle that leans heavily into the era’s psychedelia, but the lyrics are literally about George trying to stay awake so he can see his friends in the band before he falls asleep in his chair. Also love the video in which George literally tries to play the floor like an instrument while wearing an orange leisure suit and a very confused expression. Does it slap? Wellllllllllll okay maybe not but I simply had to include it.
Stuart Sutcliffe Memorial Non-Rating:
